What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

So, i spoilt her more .

What are some good email marketing tools for small businesses?

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

On the 31st of Jan this month .

Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

Would this be the day?

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

Dear Doctor: What are the best ways to help my kidneys recover from nearly failing? - OregonLive.com

We were not on the streets..

She found it foreign!.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

'Starship in space': See amazing photos from SpaceX megarocket's Flight 9 test mission - Space

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

My family never makes their pension either.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

Watch toddler’s joyful scream when beloved uncle surprises him during hide-and-seek - USA Today

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

When she asked me how she looked .

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

Trader Joe's recalls another food item in California over listeria concerns - SFGATE

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

Reds To Promote Chase Burns For MLB Debut - MLB Trade Rumors

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

Rampant cybercriminal group targets US airlines - CNN

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Why is rap* a crime?

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

I think the readers, may guess!

Who then, do I blame.?

Corrupti suscipit aliquid odit totam.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?

I was very sick at this time too.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

Which document should be pointed out to a holocaust denier?

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

I did it because my mum asked me too!

Fed's Powell sent a blunt message on interest rates this week - TheStreet

As i do to all so called friends.?

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

I was seconnd youngest,

I never cut or harmed myself..

I said to her

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

He resisted the act ,that day.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

The only rule us 5 kids had .

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

All the time i was locked up.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

Where the ultimate outsiders.

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

She was in good health!

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

But it wasn’t much.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

I was scared of men, in general

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

Im still living with it.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

And i lived it daily.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

One cannot live in the past .

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

This is how, and why children get BPD.

I write beautiful poetry .

Why did i forgive my father ?

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

Especially a lifetime of it.

I have no regrets .

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

My mum and dad in the seventies!

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

(And it was in our own minds.)

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

He knew the spot.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

She loved him until the end.

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

Comes on , in middle age.

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

I don,t even have a pension.

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

They are buried together, in the same grave..

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

This is soul school!.

But, we were locked up after school.

We all went to grammer schools

I could never make a relationship work though!

She married twice! .

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

My life is so biszare .

I will be 64.

It was going to be , some day.

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

I was 9 years of age.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

But ive been too sick for many years..

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

I waited trembling.

She wouldn,t have been !

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

So whats the point in blame.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

Was to survive, this bastard.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

Put me off passion for life!!

And who doesn’t know suffering?

I couldn’t, believe it.

What did i know ?

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

He was dying to do it , i knew.

Ive learnt so much.